When I was growing up, I was obsessed with my Dad’s copy of the video game Need for Speed 2. Many hours of my youth were spent (or wasted) in front of the computer screen, racing around in what were at the time a collection of the most powerful, and exotic cars in the world.
Of all the cars that you could race in on this game, and there were quite a few, my standout favourite was always the Mclaren F1. Now, because I was 6 at the time, the Mclaren was my favourite simply because it was the fastest car in the game. It was also, conveniently, the fastest car in the world as well.
But, because I was more concerned with beating my mates in two-player mode so that I could subsequently rub their faces in it when they lost; the performance figures of the Mclaren in real life always played second-fiddle to the in-game performance figures. In this car, I was a winner, and my mates were all sissy-girls.
It is for immature reasons like this that I find myself drawn to certain supercars. Take a look at the Lamborghini Aventador for example, that has a flame thrower for an exhaust pipe. And it looks like a bright orange jet-fighter. I mean, what more do you need?
Now I must confess, whilst cars like the Mclaren F1 and the Lamborghini Aventador do excite my inner six-year-old for incredibly juvenile reasons, the same cannot be said of every single super car in existence today.
Funnily enough, the Mclaren cars that are around today do not excite me as much as the F1 from my childhood. The problem here is that they all seem to be named after fax machines. Take the Mclaren MP4-12C for example; who in their right mind thought that a name like that sounded sexy? For some odd reason, whenever I hear that model name an image of a balding fat bloke, standing at the office photocopier pops into my mind. It is all a bit disturbing, really.
I do hate to go on about Mclaren, but they just seem to be repeat offenders when it comes to giving their cars particularly uninspiring names. Their newest model, which is still under development has the code name “P13”. It sounds more like a coordinate on a Battleships board than a name for a new super car.
Im sure there is logic behind the way in which they name their cars at Mclaren, with careful board meetings at every turn. I just cannot help but get the impression, however, that any form of flamboyance is forbidden. That seems ridiculous for a company that is supposed to be making on-the-edge-of-your-seat racing cars for the road.
The Italians seem to have a better idea of how to name a car. Take the new Ferrari LaFerrari for instance. It is a stupid name, since it essentially means Ferrari TheFerrari. But, because it’s Italian, it sounds great. They also have all the of Lamborghini’s that have ever existed. My personal favourite is the Lamborghini Diablo. How badass does that sound?
If Mclaren want to rekindle their appeal to the inner-child, they are going to have to start naming their cars things like the “Rambo”, or the “Killer”. Something along those lines anyway.
If such a day ever comes, Mclarens will again be my favourite cars. But until then, I guess they are just going to sound a bit dull. I can think of one quick fix however; and that would be for me to be able to spend a day tearing around a racetrack in one of their fax machines — ahem, I mean, cars. I’m sure that would more than bring my inner six-year-old out of hiding.
So, Mclaren, are you listening?
Simon Davis, June 2014.
sjdavis1993 