P13? I’ll Take a Rambo Any Day of the Week.

When I was growing up, I was obsessed with my Dad’s copy of the video game Need for Speed 2. Many hours of my youth were spent (or wasted) in front of the computer screen, racing around in what were at the time a collection of the most powerful, and exotic cars in the world.

Of all the cars that you could race in on this game, and there were quite a few, my standout favourite was always the Mclaren F1. Now, because I was 6 at the time, the Mclaren was my favourite simply because it was the fastest car in the game. It was also, conveniently, the fastest car in the world as well.

The Mclaren F1

But, because I was more concerned with beating my mates in two-player mode so that I could subsequently rub their faces in it when they lost; the performance figures of the Mclaren in real life always played second-fiddle to the in-game performance figures. In this car, I was a winner, and my mates were all sissy-girls.

It is for immature reasons like this that I find myself drawn to certain supercars. Take a look at the Lamborghini Aventador for example, that has a flame thrower for an exhaust pipe. And it looks like a bright orange jet-fighter. I mean, what more do you need?

Now I must confess, whilst cars like the Mclaren F1 and the Lamborghini Aventador do excite my inner six-year-old for incredibly juvenile reasons, the same cannot be said of every single super car in existence today.

Funnily enough, the Mclaren cars that are around today do not excite me as much as the F1 from my childhood. The problem here is that they all seem to be named after fax machines. Take the Mclaren MP4-12C for example; who in their right mind thought that a name like that sounded sexy? For some odd reason, whenever I hear that model name an image of a balding fat bloke, standing at the office photocopier pops into my mind. It is all a bit disturbing, really.

I do hate to go on about Mclaren, but they just seem to be repeat offenders when it comes to giving their cars particularly uninspiring names. Their newest model, which is still under development has the code name “P13”. It sounds more like a coordinate on a Battleships board than a name for a new super car. 

Lamborghini Aventador

Im sure there is logic behind the way in which they name their cars at Mclaren, with careful board meetings at every turn. I just cannot help but get the impression, however, that any form of flamboyance is forbidden. That seems ridiculous for a company that is supposed to be making on-the-edge-of-your-seat racing cars for the road.

The Italians seem to have a better idea of how to name a car. Take the new Ferrari LaFerrari for instance. It is a stupid name, since it essentially means Ferrari TheFerrari. But, because it’s Italian, it sounds great. They also have all the of Lamborghini’s that have ever existed. My personal favourite is the Lamborghini Diablo. How badass does that sound?

If Mclaren want to rekindle their appeal to the inner-child, they are going to have to start naming their cars things like the “Rambo”, or the “Killer”. Something along those lines anyway.

If such a day ever comes, Mclarens will again be my favourite cars. But until then, I guess they are just going to sound a bit dull. I can think of one quick fix however; and that would be for me to be able to spend a day tearing around a racetrack in one of their fax machines — ahem, I mean, cars. I’m sure that would more than bring my inner six-year-old out of hiding.

So, Mclaren, are you listening?

Simon Davis, June 2014.

Ferrari 458 Successor to Receive Turbo-Charged V8.

Bad news! Ferrari have recently announced that the successor to the awesome 458 Italia will be receiving a turbo-charged engine.

The move has inevitably come about as a result of the increasingly stringent, and frugal emissions regulations placed on car manufacturers by governments and committees around the world. Whilst Ferrari may be seen by 9 year-old boys as being a company that gives the middle-finger to rules regarding what they can and can’t do when it comes to building a car, the fact of the matter is that if they don’t meet new emissions quotas; they may find themselves in a spot of bother.

Ferrari 458 Italia

It is indeed very, very sad that the world will no longer be graced with the presence of the absolutely mental, naturally aspirated V8 that is found in the current 458 Speciale once the updated model is unveiled. But, failure to adopt the industry trends of smaller capacity, turbo-charged engines will see any manufacturer of supercars fall behind competitors not just in terms of sales, but also in terms of performance.

The maths behind the move towards turbo-charging is simple: emission regulations are requiring car manufacturers to reduce the amount of CO2 produced by their cars; the most efficient way to do this is to reduce engine size, and strap on a few turbos. Whilst a company like Ferrari isn’t required to meet the same figures as large scale manufacturers such as Ford or Fiat — because of special small-manufacturer exemptions — if it fails to show a downward trend, they run the risk of having this exemption being pulled.

Not to worry though. While the engine in the 458 successor may lose a bit of the pantomime and panache of the previous models, it is important to remember that Ferrari is not new to the game of turbo-charging. Two of what are the arguably ‘most epic’ models in the company’s history — the F40 and the 288 GTO — both featured twin-turbo charged V8 engines, and both were fire-spitting, road monsters that were crazier than Jim Carrey on LSD. They were fast cars not only by the standards of their time, but by the standards of today as well.

Ferrari 288 GTO

We also shouldn’t forget the fact that the recently released California T also features a turbo-charged V8. It has 560bhp. That is a lot of power in any car, let alone a car that is designed to be a relaxed, comfortable grand tourer. The naturally aspirated engine in the 458 Speciale has already taken the 458 family to over 600bhp. One can only imagine that the replacement turbo-charged V8 that will feature in the 458 replacement will be even higher than that again. A rough estimate might suggest that power will be over and above the 650bhp mark, due to the fact that that is what Mclaren’s new 650S model produces from its turbo-charged V8.

So, while it will be sad to say goodbye to the wild, howling 4.5 litre V8 that currently exists in Ferrari’s 458 family, we can remain safe in the knowledge that the replacement turbo-charged V8 will be just as, if not more wild than the current model. We are talking about the Italians here after all, and Italians don’t really ‘do’ boring.

Simon Davis, June 2014.